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Have Some Self-Compassion


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What does it mean to be a strong person? Some of the strongest people we know have been through so much, yet they are still able to keep a smile on their face and be there for others, finding success in whatever they do. You never hear them complaining about life, they’re always marketing a new product, or sharing a story, or trying to inspire us. I guess we should all reach a point in our careers when we encourage more than we discourage ourselves and others into negative thinking, eventually the chatter stops. Even if that chatter is just occurring within yourself, when you resume your life after the chaos and heightened strain of what needs to get done, what are you left with, yourself.  

Self-Compassion “increases well-being and resilience to stress and trauma.” Just what we needed to hear at a time like this, what should we work on? What can we do to help make things better in this world of chaos, crime, and gun violence. How can we ignore what’s going on without falling apart to these circumstances, and how can we lift ourselves again to carry on our lives as things were, without holding resentments toward one another. 

Less is more in terms of self-compassion, meaning the less you put out there in the world for it to decide how you should feel, getting disheartened over rejections and attentions in life, why not spend that time getting strong again, that energy is contagious your “busy energy” that is! With more self-compassion and focus on ourselves, this solves the problem socially when it comes to motivation, confidence, and a sense of personal responsibility, ever notice the heaviness of not doing anything all, and how forgetful you are of the negatives when you are busy doing something for yourself and others, that’s time well spent, and also serves to “improve our pro-social or supportive relationship behaviors,” you should want to care for others at a time like this, not shy away from engaging with others on topics of your choice, what support groups are for, and now with social media we get it for free.

At the end of each night, and at the beginning of each morning, you will always have you, so why not start loving the person you are, and the body that you’re in. There is always time to fix our spirit. That attitude and outlook in life, that everything is going to be okay, aside from all the “what is normal?” questions about life, accept themselves as they are, and have the courage to take action with regards to accomplishing their goals in life. You can’t shy away from your future, its coming whether you are ready or not for it or not, so why not get prepared, and start loving yourself for all the pieces of you you do like about yourself, and be more tolerant of your failures and inadequacies. When we accept “negative experiences as a natural process of human life, we allow ourselves to practice the key elements of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. 

Your thoughts are not worthless, and your feelings are valid, remind yourself that there are people in this world who care about you and who want what’s best for you, even if you don’t see that in yourself. Believe in yourself and your problem solving skills and abilities, we are all capable of helping ourselves and others, with enough training and practice we can eventually find ourselves in control of our lives and not waste away feeling powerless to the circumstances around us, as well as not blame our feelings on ourselves or people, be proactive like exercise, take meds, engage in talk therapy, and journal, there are so many ways to release your anxieties in life, but through the form of positive self-expression, whatever that means today.

Pick yourself back up, and like they say, chin up and shoulders back. Common remedies for the insecure and not so confident younger years, when you’re expected to attract positive attentions and to light up a room, “enjoy your youth” they tell us. Don’t we all aspire to be someone uplifting and cordial, to me good social skills means that you have compassion, it means that you are not judging others and in not judging others that also means that you are not wasting time being too judgmental of yourself. With a positive attitude in life, you’ll find yourself surrounded by more people, than times isolated wondering why or what happened to you feeling sorry for yourself, don’t we all have those days, not feeling good enough. 

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