It’s not been an easy year so far for most of us, overcoming the mental health hurdles that encompassed the COVID years, and doing our best to get strong again mentally and physically. When it comes to dating, you know when you are ready, you don’t need to force yourself to do anything you’re not ready for, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
What is more important is your health, so get strong and do it for you and for all the positive things that come with being honest with yourself, taking the time to review your progress, and goal set once again. This is you, your life, and you can do with it as you please, you can either make this year your best year yet, or put everything on the back-burner romance wise, it’s your choice after all, no ultimatums about it.
Why wait? Well it’s hard to get started when there are a million things that you need to do for yourself first to feel like you’re in the right place again in life. It’s hard to find people who can help you do that for yourself in life, you are better off relying on yourself to pick up the pieces, and not waste time talking about life, and do more to start living your life again, including being able to talk about yourself in the positive. Some of the best relationships are the ones in which we feel comfortable with ourselves, and comfortable talking about ourselves, you will know when you’re ready, on the basis of what you have to say about yourself.
Too often we jump the gun when it comes to dating, and date when we are in the middle of overcoming a hurdle, if you are not yet arrived, and sound like you would rather be some place else in life, you’ll have trouble finding someone to sit with you through it, let alone hook up and feel good about it either. Dating isn’t about being lost and then feeling found by someone you love, it’s about finding yourself and in the midst of assembling noticed by someone who admires your strength and courage in overcoming what you are going through and genuinely wants to be there for you in life, to help you achieve your goals in life. Not everyone can be relied upon in that way, but when it comes to love, love tends to buffer us from most storms in life, and protects us spiritually by being that fun space to share with someone in the middle of chaos, there for us, not alone in life, left to our own devices, we all need a sounding board.
Romance is more than friendship, it’s a much closer bond, when it comes to intimacy, so have your house in order, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries, and dream big, who knows who you’ll meet in life. If you’re in a rush, prioritize your time, the more time you invest in yourself, the more attractive a companion you will become. If the times call for more self-love, then accomplish those goals first before giving yourself away to someone else to admire and love on. You can’t expect the world, unless you feel like you are worth it, and someone who appreciates you for who you are will be excited to check on you, hear from you, listen to you, and be around at this time in your life. It doesn’t matter your age either, there are single people at any age, so don’t let that be a precursor to other stresses, what will be will be.
Surround yourself with positive people, people who care about you, and people who nurture your strengths, that’s step one to eventually finding a partner. You will learn to separate yourself from the things that hold you back in life, including people who have let you down, worry less about all the heartache and risk, and focus more on the positives, to what benefit do you get to experience allowing new people into your life, and think about it in a positive way, something to look forward to and make progress for.
So hold your head high, and count your blessings, you never know what’s in store for you in the future, live for the moment, and forgive more often than you choose to repent or blame others for the emotional toll that breakups and hearbreak causes you in life, we have all been there, the point is to move on and not to allow those losses in life to define you. Remind yourself that you’re better than that, you don’t need to constantly be reminded of people past who have came and walked through your life and who are no longer in your life, what about all the amazing people who are still in your life, and want to be in your life, it’s not fair to them that you are struggling to let go of the past, or who has hurt you, eventually you have to move on, and make progress anyway. It may not make you a stronger person to have had bad experiences in life, and it may not feel good to have been through breakups where people have taken sides, but at least you are still here and willing to make changes in your life, so that in the future relationships foster and work out better for you and for who is watching you and judging you. Someone who loves you unconditionally will have to learn to accept your past and who from it was not meant to be in your life and will come to accept the person you are now, having had those bad experiences in life.
There is always time for love, you should be in no rush. The point is to love yourself, and to be happy with where you are, it will be hard to incorporate new people into your life, if you are constantly being hard on yourself, who has it good in life anyways? No one, we all struggle. Who has a perfect life anyways? No one will all seek to better ourselves; and Who doesn’t have something from their past that hurts? We have all known someone who has disappointed us and let us down and hurt our feelings, don’t be one of them.
Given the times know that people will be expecting more of you, if they perceive you to be well, they will be expecting more energy of you, and will be expecting you to repair and buffer them, that’s someone who wants love. Usually people who need love, have difficulty asking for it, and are not ones to reach out and say here is what I need from you. You either know they need love and willingly love someone, or allow for yourself to be eaten up by the wolves in life, and let opportunities pass you by.
Know what you’re in for, before you set aside time to meet others, and be sure not to break hearts, and go with the flow. It’s a very sensitive time to date where people feel easily rejected or negative, know that that energy is not coming from you, but of their reading of you, so don’t be disturbed by the insecurities pouring out of others, either you have the energy to be reassuring to them, or choose to go your separate ways. It’s not a big deal, it happens, sometimes we get mismatched, with different temperaments, it will not work with expectations. So get back in touch with your easy-going self, don’t divulge too much information about yourself, be kind to yourself, love your life, be proud of your story, remind yourself that you are important too and worthy. Don’t expect too much from others, be positive and uplifting, find people you have things in common with, and most of all make sure that you have great pictures of yourself that demonstrate who you are to a person, to allow them to accept you into their life, it’s all about presentation. Until you are ready to embrace others for all their colors and strides, you will first need to be someone who embraces those differences, in order to pick those who stand out to you and who you can equally share an appreciation with them for how far they have come as well in life, be proud of yourself and the rest should follow.
