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Grieving is a Process


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If you’re like me you’ll wait until the last minute to tie up loose ends, don’t wait until the last minute to tell people how you feel about them. I know it can be hard, sometimes unexpectedly we experience losses, and at other times, we go through the painful process of letting someone go who we love and care for deeply. Don’t minimize your feelings, I know it’s easy for those of us who work, to just go back to work, and to put your feelings on the back burner, but at some point you will have to think through those feelings and process what it is you are going through at this point in time in your life, especially now not having that special someone in your life anymore. 

Losing a Parent is not easy, I always heard about others losing family members, but you won’t understand what it feels like until it happens to you, it’s like a piece of you has gone missing, including all your childhood memories, with this special someone in your life. However this is common, for some of the most important relationships in your life, to not be tended to, and to leave things off, call it avoidance, but it’s up to you to mend these relationships in life, and to forge closer bonds with those you most admire and think fondly of. No one knows you better than your Parents, your strongest advocates for you in life. Eventually we will be on our own, no one to defend us, advise us, stick up for us, or represent us for that matter, and that’s a very high pressure area of life to encounter in your 30s, how to fend for yourself in this world, and be independent. 

Take it one day at a time, there will be good days, and there will be bad days, mostly it’s about you making the most of your days while you’re here, and you don’t really think about this not until you lose someone, or face some obstacle in life you have to overcome that is so gut wrenching and life changing, that you rethink how you want to live your life all over again. We can have plans and those plans can be tarnished, learning to go with the flow is a struggle for most of us, wanting things to be a certain way, but as we learn life does not work that way, we have to create options and opportunities for ourselves in life, nothing is handed to us in life. 

Know that as difficult as it is for you to be going through a difficult phase in life, so is it for a Parent, close friend, or loved one to watch you go through these phases in life, lost or not quite like yourself. Accept the changes in your life that make you who you are, too often we focus on the negative, and that takes away from the person you were before you encountered difficulties in life. As you experience loss, you recognize how impermanent life is, and think more carefully about how you want to live your life, not just live it for the sake of living it, and wind up 10 years later, wondering what you did for the past 10 years, it makes you want to live life with more purpose. Make the most of who you are and forgive yourself for not always being perfect. Some of the most well rounded and successful people, have been through severe ups and downs in life, it’s how you come out on top, a better person after all is said and done, not allow setbacks in life, to keep you from living your life as best you can. 

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