I found a great article online by happierhuman.com on anger management. Maybe it’s a diagnosis, or an observation, or overhearing something you feel is about you. You have the will power to control what elements of living life you will not be happy about, the less you personalize matters, the more people will respect you caring, the more you personalize matters, the less enthused people will be about why you care.
What is significant when then there is a loss, is how you respond, and whether you pay respect back to everyone choosing to take a higher road on that occasion, instead of bringing up insecurities such as what people think. Don’t allow the upsets of others to be your fault, you can do your best to be there for others, however past a loss, it’s a time to think about what has been done to prevent those losses, including what you are doing to live a productive life, and to also help prevent losses, by taking your life more seriously.
Prove that you care, by being a more reliable person, if you can, and work, why not, if it’s a suggested solution to your problems in life, then trust that it is in your best interest and in the best interests of others for you to work, and not be left resuming life as you were, no questions asked. It’s better to be quietly receptive to others, than to get into things on a personal level that’s sends everyone aback. When you make things about you, that’s not the solution, that only leaves you further away from your goals in life to be close to people and to have people in life, wheres the progress in that, don’t pariah yourself, poor me-ing over what can’t be undone, and do what you can to remedy what is left of you relationhsips and make everything better, they’ll be glad you repaired yourself instead of trying to prove that everyone is on board some imaginary ship of rationale that doesn’t include you or is selective. That’s not how life works, safe and sound or not on board. There is always an opportunity to leave behind what cannot be fixed or what does not make sense, that’s part of being productive, identifying what the issue is, and fixing yourself so that you cope better and not worry or bother others with your inner turmoils and fears.
Sometimes talking is smart, and sometimes it means less, if you can barely help yourself, what use is it to explain to others, if you are only going in circles and failing to make progress on your own. Be the voice of reason you seek to find in another, the perfect remedy lies within you, at your own devices, rely less on others. It’s a much heavier pressure upon blame than through self-acceptance. Especially if its not necessary to be upset about anything or anyone.
Know the difference between what’s going on in your head versus what is actually happening in real life, mostly we spoil our progress when we allow a worry or a fear to become a reality, like self-sabotage, you don’t move forward in life because you are focusing on the negative rather than thinking about the positives, and set yourself up for failure. It’s like all the stars align in the exact opposite direction to where you have not made it yet in life, satisfied and hopeful, proud and grateful feeling good and having survived the worst of it. It’s the one waiting room to the next chapter in life you cant seem to get to, so learn from your mistakes, easy does it.
Playing up to your defenses in life, and pleasing the wrong crowds in life, we call “haters” if haters are your audience, then what are you doing to correct a situation of feeling compelled to diffuse a situation of fighting. What can you do to not call attentions to self, what is worth your energy, and what are you capable of fixing. Reputation is not public service work, so if you ever tire and wonder why you have to try so hard, its because it is you! It is your life, you should want everything to be okay, and sometimes at our own expense we will go out of our way to make sure that everyone is okay with how things are, and get feebacks in life.
Don’t expect answers, expect to listen, and continue on your way in a positive way anyways, that’s the best feedback you can give to anyone struggling and not able to communicate to you that you also doing well is not a threat but you not doing well does make things more diffcult for them. The acceptance of others matters, and it should matter to you, you as a person whether you know it or not represent someone or something, or some idea, or some cause you will not realize until after people are helped by you, so do your best to get along with everyone. The reward will pay off in the long run, don’t worry so much about the fundamentals.
There are others like you, why they constantly remind us that “we’re not alone,” think about everyone else who is helped who identifies with you, its not a situation in which people are automatically healed, but you have the power to lessen the pressure faced by others, who will not be made to feel bad about themselves knowing your story, if you are so kind enough to share it with others. The burden you present representing yourself, is not to make people feel bad about being who they are. Think about everyone else who could be affected and count your blessings twice, and find peace in the silence, easily disturbed by engaging in discussions, that’s a choice, of your own making.
If you are not feeling good about something you are hearing, maybe it is not about what you think the writing is seeking to reflect. We all have different experiences in life, whichever way its headed. If a negative thought is guiding that analysis you will surely misinterpret a writing to mean something even more upsetting that you were thinking in the first place, and sometimes our thoughts can lead us astray, trying to prove negatives and then lazily assembling everything you can recall to upplay or downplay a negative as though you have the solution to another’s merriment or dissatisfaction in life. You don’t know where its coming from so don’t read into it too much. That’s over-analyzing the issues of others, unless you’re a doctor or psychologist you cant waste time getting frustrated with others, instead have compassion.
Why waste energy trying to get a point across, that could not be worth trying to correct a problem you are not certain is occurring on the same ground that you have provided insight for its existence. What you see is not what everyone else sees, not until you mention what it is that is bothering you, then you just subject yourself for interpretation or misinterpretation for that matter. The benefit of thinking and waiting to process your thoughts is that things get smarter and the less emotional you are the more well received you become, and sometimes that’s the first step to not feeling bothered and to also not allow others to bother you.
We all wish to get back to that place when we can be hyper, smile, make eye contact, and ask others how their day is going, and we don’t all have that in us, to reach out to others and be concerned with how the other feels when you are wrapped up in your own problems in life, so don’t be too hard on yourself, and especially don’t put pressure on others to explain themselves to you. Worry, but not to the extent, that you get all bent out of shape not hearing from others, and take it personally. A lot about getting through life, is waiting things out and being patient, and things will not blow over or get better, not unless you invest the right amount of time and energy to decipher what is your part in this instability that you feel with others, as frustrating as it may be, and what can you do in order to improve your interactions with others, and live a happier life.
Here are 10 Affirmation from This Article that Stood Out to Me [1]:
- My actions and thoughts are fueled by love and kindness.
- I reject and let go of feelings of anger.
- I understand that everyone loses their temper from time to time.
- I am becoming more easy-going and happier and releasing pent-up frustration.
- I look forward to making meaningful relationships free of regret, frustration, and disappointment.
- I express my emotions thoughtfully and respectfully.
- Wherever I look, I only see kindness, love, and friendliness.
- Trivial things can’t make me lose my cool.
- Stress is unavoidable, but it is up to me to respond to it.
- I won’t undermine my growth by self-destructive behavior.
